It’s been one calendar month since Gabriel died. 

I’m no closer to accepting it. Every single day, I want to see his face, hear his voice, and feel a hug. Today, also, happened to be Thanksgiving.

I don’t know how many times someone said, or texted, “Happy Thanksgiving” and I couldn’t find one moment of happiness in the day. The whole of ‘happy’ is eclipsed by his passing. 

Once friends left, it was just family, and Joan said that in the dinner conversations and the games that followed we missed the little bit of edge that Gabriel contributed. 

It wasn’t as bad as a holiday, or as difficult as people have said, but it could’ve been.

This is the first, first holiday without him.