I have been working on staying in the feelings and writing less. Not to write less, but so I can feel all these feelings for the first year.

So I summarize some of the events, phases, moments that happen and put them here.

[from – ] (2/20/20)

Today as I finished the adjustment at Dr. Hurst – Chiro, he asked about my necklace. I’m wearing the charm I bought for Gabriel in Ireland. In Gaelic, the month determines your birth “tree” much like a zodiac.

The first Gaelic/Ogham letter for that tree shows up on the Ogham stone shown here:

Gabriel, born in August, has the equivalent of a “C” for the Hazel tree.

He wore this necklace almost every day from the time we returned from Ireland until he died. He left it, beside his cell phone and wallet for us. Drl Hurst asked about it, and knowing all I know about its history, I still stumbled over my answer. 

It probably took me 5 minutes to get an answer out, but it felt like an hour. My mind went in a million directions, a hundred memory moments, and I wasn’t sure where to start or stop. Eventually, I get out that It belonged to Gabriel and he passed almost 4 months ago.

I wear it regularly. Sometimes atop my shirt, but often underneath. I like to grasp it in my palm and try to time machine back to the energy he might have imbued into it from his time wearing it.