Journal of 2/10/20

2/6/20 (on 2/10)


I dreamed of Gabriel. Twice actually.

The first dream he was all ages, well, youthful ones anyway. But it was as if he was a balloon in every instance except one. 

I awoke mid – night and thought “Those were echoes of memories.” And then I went back to sleep.

The second dream, however, he was his age now. We were riding in the back of a van and he had a bit of cut hair on his nose. I reached forward to brush it off and he crinkled his nose and shook his head towards my hand. He would do that at times when I got too close to his personal space and he didn’t want to be invaded.

I asked if he’d just gotten a hair cut, and he said yes. He said he had been seeing someone named Paul or Paulo over the last few weeks and he liked what he did for the hair. 

And then he just kept talking the way he does and I liked hearing his voice. There was a lull and I looked at him and said, “Gabriel, do you know how important you are to people? I know it’s hard to hear sometimes, but you matter.”

He said yes.

Then I said, “Gabriel you’re one of my favorite people. Do you know how much you matter to me?”

He looked me in the eyes and nodded yes. And I woke up crying.

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